He Said Yes :)
may 3rd, 2015
Last Tuesday I asked Vlad to marry me, and he said yes!
Posed here with rings, for tradition. Rings are from a vending machine in central Illinois.
full story below in paragraph stacks, sparing no detail
skip to pictures
Around January I asked Vlad, theoretically you know, no pressure: what if I wanted him to propose to me sometime this year in a room full of candles? He said that he was open to that, but planning big romantic gestures is stressful. I figured then that if I wanted a big romantic proposal, I was going to have to do it myself. Which really is more my style anyway! Fock the patriarchy!
Around March the subject of diamonds came up, and Vlad said that if *he* were getting engaged, he wouldn't want a diamond. [picture me, super casual not-casual] Oh? What would you want to get engaged with? And he described a type of glass created by meteorites on impact. Space glass! You can find space glass under the names impactite, tektite, moldavite, probably more names as well. “Moldavite” appealing in particular because Vlad is from the Moldova region of Romania. Different etymologies, but a nice sonic reference.
In the meantime, I did a lot of pre-proposing. “Non-binding question: will you marry me?” I would say, maybe once a week. And Vlad would smile and answer, “my non-binding answer is 'yes.'” A few weeks ago Vlad and I were snuggled up and talking about moving soon.
I said, “will you move with me even if I asked you to marry me, and your answer was 'not yet'?”
He said, “yes I would. But my answer would probably be 'yes'.” And in almost any other phase of life, the “probably” would have sent me into an insecurity spiral. What does probably mean? But I felt strong and happy. This is my Dr Vlad, the scientist! He must leave room for error, no matter how remote the possibility! And I knew I was ready.
So my idea was to find some beautiful space glass that could be made into jewelry for him or for me or for both of us. The trouble is: most gem-sized space glass I found went for around $30. And we are not materialistic people. And I'm certainly not a “three months' salary” person. But I did want to propose to my first husband with something more expensive than taking him out to brunch.
So then instead of space glass, I thought about getting: a BIG meteorite. Like a treasure! And we could be like dragons getting married!
I went to Dave's Down to Earth Rock Shop in Evanston. My friend Becca came with me under the pretense of a Girls Only Brunch. Intended just to look around, but found a beautiful piece from Sikhote, and a shiny tiny piece of Mars to go with it. Couldn't resist. Bought them right then. Dave's gave me a “true love” discount (7%).
Intended to wait until the second week in May after my mom's visit. Thus, left the rocks in Dave's safe keeping, but could barely wait even a few days. It didn't help that Becca and I ran into Marcel and Colleen right after we got back from Evanston. “Guess what I got, you guys!!” I said, and showed them pictures. Ten minutes later coming home to Vlad, very nearly shouted, ”guess what I got, my love!!”
Picked the space rocks up Tuesday and proposed to Vlad that night.
I said, “I've asked you a non-binding question. Today I ask a binding question.” [he was already smiling] Then I brought out the meteorite and said that it had traveled untold millions of miles and millions of years, and now it's here in our hands. And then I brought out the piece of Mars and got on one knee. And at this point, I really don't remember what I said. Probably that I want nothing more than to keep his feet warm every night, and laugh at his jokes every day, and if he would have me, I would be his for all time.
And then I asked him to marry me in Romanian. Vrei să fii soțul meu? Vrei să fii soția mea? And he said yes! He said it was the best Romanian I've ever spoken.
Reading this whole story to Vlad just now, he says he loves it!
“I'm afraid there's not enough of *you* in it! I say. Right now it reads so me-muh-me-me-me …”
“But you are the storyteller,” he says. “I am in the pictures. That's the part I like the best :)”
An amazing discovery! We drew the same idea, at nearly the same time, four years before we met!
Practicing for The Moth Grand Slam
Valentine's Day 2015. Make every day Vladentine's Day!