i hate this.

january 30th, 2023

Shortly before his murder, Tyre Nichols still mustered some disarming charisma toward his murderers. “You guys are really doing a lot right now,” he said. “I’m just trying to go home.”

i am lucky; i have never been violently assaulted. The times that i've pictured a situation like that, like being carjacked at gunpoint, i imagine saying, “really? You want to jack a used Prius?” i imagine disarming with the unexpected. i imagine charming in the sense of magic. And if that doesn't work and the brute squad intends my end then i'll just try to survive. Protect my neck and my head. Other brutes looking on, passively.

How does anyone in the US trust the police? After Uvalde how does anyone trust the police? Before Uvalde, too, but after also.

In theory, in about a week i'm going to the local Jiffy Lube to get our catalytic converter painted and registered by the local police. Be near their guns. Pretend friendly.