Pretty Girls.

november 22nd, 2016

VLAD and MIKE sit in a glassed in conference room with laptops, engrossed in work talk. ERICA enters with a big ol grin.


What are you guys talking about? Pretty girls?



Is that what you think we talk about?


Erica writes fan fiction about our office.


The other day I asked Vlad, what did you have for lunch?

(as Vlad)


(as Erica)

Who did you have lunch with?

(as Vlad)


(as Erica)

What did you guys talk about, pretty girls?

(as goofy Vlad)

You know who I think is the prettiest? My wife!

Everyone LAUGHS.


Like how there are male fantasies about what women are like.


Right, like naked tickle fights.


Exactly. So this is a female fantasy about what men are like.


Naked tickle fights! No one told me about those!


Well, they're not real. Except when they are.

Now What.

november 21st, 2016

Last night police fired rubber bullets, tear gas, and water cannons at First Nations protesters in North Dakota. The protesters have good reasons to put their bodies against the machine. Here's just one reason: Enbridge, the corporation building the pipeline, has had 800 spills and leaks in the last ten years. That might be par for an energy company? It's not good enough.

Last week the President‑elect accepted $25 million of culpability for fraud.

Next month the KKK has a victory parade planned in North Carolina. A victory parade.

Hillary Clinton, The Flawed Candidate, has more popular votes than any white man of any party in United States history, ever. That fact is misleading because it's not adjusted for voting population over time. But it's a fun fact.

At dinner with educated friends last week, they insisted that true‑hearted Republicans will stand up to power. No. No i really don't think so. i'm not even hearing Democrats stand up to power. The cast and audience of Hamilton were less equivocal than Barack Obama or Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren these last twelve days.

i am not waiting to see what fresh hells await. Flint, Michigan is a preview of the new normal tap water. Standing Rock is a preview of the new normal response to dissent. So here is my current agenda of dissent, while i'm able, two calls per day for the last four weekdays:

ONE  Call representatives, respectfully demand an audit of the vote. In particular, the votes in Wisconsin, Michigan, Florida, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania were extraordinarily close and merit review.
Find your elected officials

TWO  Call the Department of Justice and respectfully demand inquiry into voter supression and collusion between the FBI and a foreign government (Russia) to influence the election.
DOJ number: 800‑253‑3931
DOJ comment line: 202‑353‑1555

THREE  Call the House Oversight Committee, respectfully demand inquiry into conflicts of interest presented by the office of President and his business(es).
HOC phone: 202‑225‑5074

FOUR  Push President Obama to make a recess appointment of Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court.
The White House Situation Room: 202‑456‑9431
The White House: 202‑456‑1111

FIVE  Encourage Republican electors to vote faithlessly in states with courageous Republican leadership. The Electoral College doesn't vote until December 19th. Here's a list of electors that i found on the internet. As with all information on the internet, i treat it with skepticism, much moreso than usual. But maybe if you know a true‑hearted Republican on this list you can text like, “hey buddy, why don't you help make it a bad day for the pussy grabber, a bad day for the KKK, whaddaya say?”

He's not President yet. And … maybe he never will be! i know it's unlikely that something drastic would prevent him from taking office next January, but impossible unprecedented things are already happening. So i don't tether my imagination.

the still walker illustration


november 10th, 2016

Unchecked power. This is some grim shit.

i had another thought

november 6th, 2016

Mulling sommore this morning about the Romanian naturalization process, i had a thought that made me laugh out loud. As is the case with all thoughts that make me laugh out loud, i couldn't wait to share it with Vlad.

i said, “baby, part of the experience of being a Romanian is to have a soul‑crushing encounter with the Romanian government. So either: i'll spend years learning and working and succeed and become a legal Romanian, or i'll be blocked in an arbitrary and discouraging way by an unfeeling bureacracy”

“… and you'll become an actual Romanian!” Vlad finished my sentence.

October 2016 December 2016