march 26th, 2014

Behaviors currently indulged:

  1. answering “right?” to any question I don't want to answer, or don't know the answer to
  2. muttering “murr murr murr” like a space kitten

Two Three nights now at my place with no bugs spotted, no blood spotting the sheets, and nothing in the traps. There are a couple one-bedrooms that just opened up few doors down on my block. They look nice. In the descriptions, both say that “two annual k-9 bed bug inspections” are included in the rent.

“This is smart,” Vlad said. “They're marketing to people scared of bed bugs. 'Move in, and the dogs will come, and you can have a clean start. And any time you get afraid, just call in the dogs. And you don't have to be afraid anymore'.”

“Sure, but this is like offering two free cancer screenings with the lease,” I said. “Kinda eeeeee ... Sounds to me like they've had a lot of bed bugs.”

“That's the logical explanation. I was thinking that it would be like in Romania and they just take the extra money, and then they bring in the 'inspector dogs', but really they're just dogs they found in the trash.”

And on my horror, “what? That's where you find the dogs! That's where they live! ... I don't mean in the trash.”

Have yet to hear from the city inspector about a city inspection as promised by my alderman's office. The building department didn't pick up the phone today, and their voicemailbox is full. I just want that clean bill of inspection. Want those dogs to come in! Somebody hire the dogs! Clean start! Get my life out of bags!