Life in Bag Technology.

february 25th, 2014.

The bed bug death chamber arrived today. It heats contents to 120°F and kills every stage of bed bug life. I was encouraged to learn that bed bug eggs are visible to the naked eye (about the size of a short grain of rice). The early-stage nymphs are nearly microscopic, though.

Nearly all my stuff is in 30 gallon Ziplocks, or in crates sealed inside garbage bags. Now to decontaminate each, crate by crate. Nuke 'em from orbit (it's the only way to be sure).

No signs of bed bugs since the spraying last Wednesday. So far, so good.

Vlad is prone to sinus infections and uses a non-aerosol spray featuring “bag in can technology.” We call my apartment “life in bag technology.”

Photo courtesy justinsomnia.

Faces, Circles.

february 24th, 2014.

When I see my face in eyeliner and red lipstick, I see the face of my grandmother the age of my age. Cheekbones, eyebrows, glamour, showboat.

Vector tracing of my Grandma Laurie.

Photog: The Moat.

february 23rd, 2014.

Vlad made a beautiful moat of diatomaceous earth around the bed for to keep the bed bugs from biting. So far so good.

MRAO

Bed bug death chamber arrives Tuesday or Wednesday probably. The company has yet to send me a tracking number, which makes me nervous and suspicious that all companies in the bed bug industry are like arms dealers, exploiting people at their most violently vulnerable.

“Little did you know,” said Vlad, “that company is actually run by bed bugs. It was a bed bug who answered the phone. They specialize in expensive and ineffective treatments for bed bugs. Genius, really.”

Smug Seahorse; La Frustración.

february 21st, 2014.

This smug seahorse drawn last Wednesday is my favorite thing that I have ever drawn in my entire life. As of now. At least today.

LIFE

And if you're wondering where I am tonight, I'm at Uncharted Books in Logan Square performing at La Frustración. I'll be reading poems and homoerotic fiction. I'll also have my new chapbook EMOTIONS available. You won't wanna miss!

Up late tonight waiting for Mike to arrive from Mini-apelous*.

*is that how you spell it, too late, no time to Gorgle!

The Mexican place around the corner is open until 3am so I'm hoping Mike's hungry for tacos. Flight was sposed to get in around 8pm but woops.

Ok Mike's here gotta go!

On Denial.

february 20th, 2014.

On the 11th (Tuesday before last), Vlad found a dead bed bug in a cup in the kitchen. And two days later I found a live one when I dropped the recycling, also in the kitchen. They looked exactly like textbook [read: Wikipedia] pictures of bed bugs. My memory (narrative of myself) is that I delayed in facing reality, but Vlad remembers, “you were like, 'I'm calling Sam! RIGHT NOW!'”

Called Landlord Sam, who made an appointment with the exterminators for Wednesday (yesterday). In the meantime Vlad and I avoided my apartment except for Sunday night. On Monday morning we found a live one in bed with us, and a bite on the back of Vlad's neck. “I think it's just a fiber of some kind,” I said, displaying a rare case of reverse-Morgellons.

“No, that's a bug,” said Vlad. It joined the others in my Ziplock trophy case.

Yesterday Landlord Sam and Exterminator Joe rolled up to my door. Sam, whom I'd earlier characterized to Marcel as a 5 on the Sleezy Landlord Scale, had a lit cigarette Bogarting out the right corner of his mouth (right there! in the hall!) and instantly rocketed up to a 7. Joe brought a sullen teen with him and wore a Bluetooth, which, I love Bluetooths on people who work on their feet. Taxi drivers, postal workers, exterminators ... something about having the Bluetooth makes the person seem boundless to me. Jacked in. This meatspace mere metaphor.

Joe had a big personality and a calming demeanor. Both are certainly necessary for work that requires contact with humans at their most vulnerable and hysterical. He pointed to the mattress. “All of this is gonna get soaked,” he said, and I felt sick.

“Not like this,” I thought.

Joe and Little Joe left the place in shambles. I found my furniture on its sides. The floor tracked with dust and powder. There was little odor, which I was grateful for. The poison in the apartment bothers me more than the bugs. Why am I being asked to participate in something I know is wrong?

While they sprayed, I posted up at the local coffeeshop and bought an expensive glorified luggage carrier that heats to 120F. Told my friend Packer that I felt much better due to the combined factors of 1) a large purchase and 2) the illusion of control seeping back into my skin. Control over bed bugs, and control over death.

“Mostly the bed bugs,” smiled Packer.

“Mostly death!” I said. “Let's be real!”

On Self-Denial.

february 11th, 2014.

Colleen Marcel left behind a bowl of MnMs on the dining room table. Obviously I shoved a couple three handfuls of MnMs into my mouth this morning. You're welcome, body!

Yesterday morning I was feeling in a mildly self-destructive mood. I don't drink or do drugs, so those were out, altho at the time I was already high on coffee. Considered getting SUPER high on coffee (wouldn't be the first time).

Remembered: compulsive spending. Ah yes! That'll do the trick. Decided to buy Every Item on my Amazon Wishlist. Tallied up all items. Came to $103. $44 of that was fancy markers.

I've been curating this Amazon list for more than a year! Putting off purchase until some unknown “right time” when I “had the money.” Not saying a hundred dollars is pocket change, but it's a low-low price to fulfill all one's wishes.

Noticed how much I like these wishes unfulfilled. Channeled that into a metaphysical scratch of the itch. Closed the browser window. Continued about my day (and thus to long for markers on that and future days).

Awareness of the cycle isn't what breaks the cycle. Maybe even at all, ever. Maybe knowing isn't half the battle. Maybe knowing is what starts the battle.

Night Lion: Pt. 6.

february 9th, 2014.

Drew this guy on the trains last night to and fro Hyde Park. Dude saw me on the tail end of the fro ride, said he'd been watching me draw all since Grand and State. Said my drawing was good, and I was going places. Which, when someone speaks your great wish of yourself to you, it's powerful. Thank you, sir! Thank you channel! Thank you spectre, thank you device! Thank you mouthpiece for the cosmos!

Amassing quite a collection ...

Photo: Ballerina Tea.

february 3rd, 2014.

At Devon Market. The existence of this tea makes me sad.