i wish that men were afraid to touch women.

january 21st, 2021

Today i'm letting myself feel encouraged and hopeful for the future. Dr. Arwady credibly believes that by May of this year, anyone who wants a vaccination in Chicago will be able to get one [source]. Yes, please!

my high school physics teacher's younger daughter believes that the government will insert tracking devices in the vaccine. At least, that's what she posted online last year. But why would the government need to inject a tracking device, when we wear tracking devices willingly (phones)? When we walk past ubiquitous cameras indoors and out, their footage subject to easy subpoena and readily dissected by facial recognition software? When we already submit our electronic selves to constant monitoring by MUSCULAR and PRISM? Remember those? Those programs are still running!

If they want you, they're gonna get you. The maniacs who attacked the Capitol are learning that.

But, in fairness to Jojo, the US government also has a history of overkill.

The new US President has swiftly undone much of the nasty paperwork of the the last four years. His predecessor didn't work very hard, the incoming team keeps their papers organized, and fliff swoop swipe, the Keystone Pipeline is cancelled.

i wish that the President's admitted history of putting his hands on female staff was an automatic disqualifier to the office. i wish that men were afraid to touch women. But i am also glad of the man's swift pen and optimism.

2020 Recedes, 2021 Proceeds.

january 15th, 2021

Remember 2020 goals? It's time now to see how i did!!

2020 Goals

  1. quit Twitter
    This one i did right away on January 1st and it was the most signficant positive move i made all year. It's so NICE to not dump creative energy into that chum stream. Why should they profit from my mind for free? i still read it, i still check in on what's trending. But i don't feel obligated to participate in it, or care.
  2. celebrate eight years of sobriety
    Did this 12 October 2020!
  3. visit Dancing Rabbit Ecovillage
    No, of course, obviously not. We didn't go to Dancing Rabbit in Missouri, we didn't go to Romania, we didn't go to Vermont. We didn't go further from our home than the Chicago Botanic Gardens.
  4. drastically reduce the amount of plastic we send to landfill
    i *think* we did! It's hard to say for certain without a clear metric (weight over time), but i know that we averaged only one (1) garbage bag of landfill waste per month. Most of our plastic discards are sent to TerraCycle in New Jersey at a cost of about $45 per month.
  5. write Draft Two of SMOTHER
    i did this in August 2020, and am within a few pages of finishing Draft Three for contest submissions. The big contest i have my eye on is the Nicholl, which is sponsored by The Academy (you know, the Awards people). Should i progress in that contest in any way, to the semi semi semi finals, for example, i will insufferably refer to it forevermore as “my Oscar.”

    Onicia asked me in July, “what did you learn from reading the script for Parasite?”

    i said, “that i need to write gooder, like Bong Sshi.”

  6. learn more jiu jitsu
    i went to one (1) jiu jitsu class in January. Lately i've been Googling woman defeats man jiu jitsu and getting that old blood lust feeling, remembering what it felt like to make a much larger man submit to the strength of my legs, not in a sexy way, in an ego-dismantling way.
  7. draw the world map freehand from memory
    Didn't succeed but got close! i can now draw the nations of Africa, Europe, Western Asia, and the Americas (including US states). All that remain are Asia, the Caribbean, and Oceania. But i want to *really* learn Oceania, not just Australia and New Zealand. Like the Christmas Islands. Where are those? The Solomon Islands. Kiribati. Vanuatu. Alla thems.
  8. participate in at least one voter registration effort in a neighboring swing state (Michigan, Wisconsin)
    Nyope, didn't do this. We funded several voter drives and a couple different Senate candidates. But i did not bring my physical body to this work. i didn't even have the courage to call my relatives in Michigan. Would i have persuaded them to vote progressively? Maybe not, but i didn't even try.
  9. hang out a lot with my husband and roommate
    Hahahahahahaha yes i did this.

other things i did in 2020

read seven books

hosted The Skewer once and performed twice

appeared on Anime Sickos, my favorite podcast

broke a Pyrex baking dish while washing it. You're probably thinking, “you knocked it against the side of the sink and it broke?” No. i broke the Pyrex dish while washing it regular-style.

maintained a daily diary and near-daily comics

took care of our roommate 115 weekdays during quarantine, sometimes while also working part-time

donated to bail bonds, local mutual aid, food banks, and Native voting support

goals for 2021

  1. get the COVID-19 vaccine
  2. run again
    stretch goal: sometimes run twelve miles in the morning like i'd do in 2009 and 2012
  3. celebrate nine years of sobriety
    Every year sobriety is lighter. Every year i forget more about what alcohol felt like and feel farther away from it. Alcohol is northern Alaska: i know it's there, but it'd be a pain in the ass to get there. Recent public lapses from some of my older brothers in sobriety (Dax, John) remind me how easy it would be to slip into that skin again.

    i have less tolerance each year for narratives about change not being possible — not just change toward substance abuse, but change of any destructive pattern (cf Uncut Gems, cf A Star Is Born). If i accept that narrative, i fear it will infect my attitude toward drinking. “Ah, so change ISN'T possible, and i must just be FAKING this sober thing!”

    i also have less tolerance each year for “bad friend” as a personality trait (cf Girls, cf The Forty-Year-Old Version). Dunno if that's related to sobriety, maybe just that TV and movies are loneliness fighters and so why would i want to fight loneliness by relating to a bad friend?
  4. prioritize eight hours or more of sleep per night
    It's worth a TRY!
  5. prioritize drinking 96 ounces or more of water per day
  6. finish a first draft of ECCENTRIC, my next feature project
  7. improve my charisma
    stretch goal: become the coolest person in the world
  8. keep up with my diary, keep up with my comics
    my diary has made a huge difference in my ability to experience time undilated by focked up news and mutilated daily routines. It's my most powerful self-care routine along with quitting Tw/tter.
  9. read twenty books
    Currently reading The Paper Menagerie by Ken Liu.
  10. hang out a lot with Vlad and our roommate
    stretch goal: go CAMPING with Vlad and our roommate!
  11. ericadreisbach.com and Wordpress code refactor
    Working toward less than one second page load and 100 scores on Google PageSpeed Insights and Lighthouse. CODE GOODER
  12. watch and understand Romanian cartoons
    This is my ninth year of learning Romanian and i'm probably about as good as a three-year-old. i have my Netflix profile set to Romanian, which allows easy searches for content dubbed or even originally created in Romanian. So i guess “watch TV” is one of my 2021 goals ... but in service of being able to talk to my family!
April 2020 August 2021