Pocket change.

april 5th, 2015

Chicago runoff elections coming up. Who will win? The big man, or the other man? Usually the big man wins. The big man today used to be the other man, back when he ousted another big man (son of another big man). But it turned out our champeen other man was just another big man. Big makes you love big, like money makes you love money. Like iPhones make you love iPhones.

Performance and poetry day in and out. It's bleeding over into everything.

aa'necdote Haven't been to a meeting in maybe six or eight months but felt the need to touch the source the other day. Found a daytime meeting at a Rogers Park church. There was a dude outside in his 60s clutching a coffee cup, talking with a lady in her 70s wearing a hoodie and chain smoking (hood up). “My people,” I thought.

The meeting was small. Everyone got a chance to talk. The theme was “fear.” Perfect. Fear and shame have been on my mind. Coming out to new friends and audiences as a sober person has been really freeing. But it's also ignited shame about who I was (who I still am) (who I've always been).

At the end of the meeting the dude from outside said, “you're a comedian? I got a joke you can use.” He licked his lips. “Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into B shells ha ha ha!”

“Great way to end meeting — with a sexist joke,” said hoodie chain-smoker.

“It's not sexist, it's a cartoon!” said dude.

“Yeah.” said hoodie. I know that grammatically there should be a comma after “Yeah” and not a period but daym if she didn't drop a period on it.

Vlad's version: “Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because of the fucking patriarchy.” I love Vlad so much :)

change Revisiting my New Year's Resolutions to become funnier and take classes at Second City. Unambiguously I'm doing the latter. As to the former? Yes, I am also becoming funnier. I made Jarvis laugh so hard he doubled over last weekend. I made Colleen laugh so hard she cried on Saturday.

It's not just that. Vlad's noticed a change in me. “You're more patient,” he said. I feel more at ease. More able to walk in to any situation and ... improvise. Didn't expect that.